Should you bamf into Middle Earth, what skills do you think you might bring? That is, if any?

(This post is brought to you by the person idly reading the GAFF forums, possibly even for the last time.)

You know what I've been wondering about lately? The science behind orc creation. The difficulty is that I never took biology; when I was young I was deeply squeamish and having realised that biology involved dissections, I took physics. That out physics master was a looker while the biology master was a complete creep only helped my decision.

Now, as far as I recall we know very few things about them:
(1) the late Professor generally favoured the view that they were the twisted result of Morgoth's experimentation with elves. Sometimes he said men, but usually the reference is to elves;
(2) we've never seen a female orc;
(3) there are occasional references in the books to them being bred in pits, but we don't know (that I'm aware of) whether this is literal truth or an insult.

Jackson, obviously, plumped for the literal but there are some references ("Scourging of the Shire") to men with an orcish look about them which argues a more...normal conception and birth for at least some orcs.

What we don't know is what Morgoth's experimentation consisted of, and many weirdnesses are possible from MPREG to genetic skullduggery of some kind, depending on how "advanced" you imagine Morgoth's abilities to be.

Now, Fëanor was advanced enough to create the Silmarils, and I think it's likely that Melkor was at around the same level. If you take the 'hard sf' theory that Vingilot is a space vehicle, a Silmaril is pretty advanced - it's powering a ship in geo-stationary* orbit around that planet. If Morgoth could do that, I'm sure he could start to manipulate genes to create clones and 'improvements' such as breeding speed and ability to withstand pain.

Obviously the 'hard SF' view of the creation of orcs isn't a widely held viewpoint, so what does everyone else make of it?

---

* Geo-stationery orbit -- hovering above pencils?

From the fannish5, "In what five fictional locations would you love to live?"

First response to this question has to be 'Oh, heck, there are so many.'

(1) Rivendell. Not, as some might prefer, Lórien. I think Lórien, from the description in the books, involves too much climbing about.

(2) Hogwarts. OK, it involves even more stairs than Lórien, but perhaps we could make arrangements for my rooms (for in my mind I am a professor rather than a student) to be somewhere on the lower couple of floors. Or install some kind of magical lift? I can't see Tolkien's elves having a lift but it seems well within the abilities of Rowling's wizards.

(3) Roke Island. Again, I see myself as a teacher rather than a student.

(4) Talking of ability to build lifts, how about the Lonely Mountain? Of course this would have to be post-dragon. Or even the Dwarrowdelf at its height? I do think of all the places on Middle-Earth, the dwarf cities get the shortest shrift and I'd like to see them.

(5) The most difficult choice as there are so many left. The Chalet School of Elinor Brent-Dyer? Oxford as described in "Gaudy Night"? (Though obviously sans the murderer.) I think Oxford has to win out, I'm not sure I could cope with the constant company of even fictional teenage girls.

So, for those of you who don't follow fannish5, and to keep this vaguely on topic, where on Middle-Earth would you like to live? Why?

This is based upon an original post in my own journal, but much enriched (and expanded) by the comments I received to it.

In order to find a debate on the use of the passive so as to comment on hedda62's fascinating post which draws an extended and subtle analogy between Integrated Pest Management (for gardeners) and editing one's literary works*, I visited linguaphiles where, serendipity coming to the fore again, I happened across
this post and in particular the following lovely turn of phrase from solri:

In his account of his taking of the Ring from Sauron, Isildur writes "It was hot when I first took it, hot as a glede, and my hand was scorched, so that I doubt if ever again I shall be free of the pain of it." Now by "hot as a glede" he obviously means something like "hot as a Balrog's arse," (as opposed to "hot as Lúthien Tinúviel") but what exactly is this glede?

crowdaughter suggested I post these remarks here. So I looked y'all up and now I'm testing the waters!

I've said for a long time that it's never wise to look too closely at the plot details in LotR: Tolkien wasn't writing a character-driven plot, he made it up as he went along, and even when he made major changes, he kept a lot of the original. So here's the conundrum that hit me recently:

In the inn at Bree, Strider tells Frodo that he was spying on the Hobbits and Tom Bombadil when they appeared on the road. So why doesn't Strider pop out from behind the bushes and introduce himself? Bombadil is supposed to know about the Rangers, right? (At least he has mentioned them to Frodo, and Strider talks as if he knew Bombadil as well.) Wouldn't that have saved a whole lot of  trouble?

Answer: When Tolkien wrote that dialog, Strider was Trotter, the Rangers as Numenoreans didn't exist, and Tolkien didn't know where Gandalf was, either. But he just carried forward the scene as written. Looking beyond, if Strider had taken charge before the Hobbits got to Bree, that whole scene in the taproom wouldn't have happened--Strider would have had them keeping quiet in their private rooms. And where's the fun in that?

that is, no good answer. The point, however, is that LotR is best understood from the perspective of legend. It's neither consistent, nor should it be made into a dogma. The story was written fluidly, and it can be interpreted fluidly, changing with the time and place. (this applies to all the M-e tales, of course.) "Canon" is really a violation of Tolkien's larger intention. Which is not to say that he wouldn't be horrified at some of the things we fanfic writers come up with.

Anyway, that's my answer to those who object to my Aragorn as a violation of Tolkien's character. He isn't Tolkien's character. He's a figure in a legend, just as much as King Arthur or Sir Lancelot.

Of course, the ultimate improbability in the Tolkien universe is why nobody would give those Silmarils back to those murdering maniacs. Elwing would rather throw herself off a cliff. WTF?

Quoted with permission from a locked post of legionseagle's. The context for this was an idea for a set of courses for writers, where they'd discover how difficult it is to:

• swim in cold water in your clothes; and


• open an average wooden door by shoving it with your shoulder.

Sharpen your 2B pencils, ladies and gentlemen, there is on the web the "definitive Tolkien examination".

The compiler suggested a time limit of thirty minutes, but I'd suggest three hours is more like it - five questions from section one and one from section two. Remember to plan your work before starting and post answers as a comment to this entry.

Good luck!

The test - suggest you open in a new window!

Why can't gay dwarves get married in Middle-earth?

I came across this article on Salon.com thanks to a link on ithiliana's journal and I thought I'd draw it to your attention.

To give it some context the sub-head is, "Video games have been ahead of the real world in accepting same-sex marriage. Why doesn't a new online "Lord of the Rings" game allow it?"

I don't know how many of us here are gamers - I'd looked at the blurb for that game on Amazon.co.uk and it occurred to me that if it were a Playstation 2 (or 3) game, I'd be interested, but as it's for the PC, I'll give it a pass. I only game on a games console, not on the PC, but that's me.

As of today we are a paid account!

Bouncing off from this discussion:

What sort of home life do orcs have? And do whatever significant others orcs have miss them when they're murdered by the heroes?

Aficionados of Sherlock Holmes will identify this as a quote from "Silver Blaze", where Holmes draws an inference from the lack of activity of the said dog which leads him to certain conclusions about the identity of a murderer and a sheep abuser. This led me to thinking (as one does) about incidents in other books where no action was taken, what, if any, conclusions it is possible we can draw from them.

Question one

The first of those questions is what I would call, if I may, 'The startling incident of Denethor's servants.' It strikes me as being interesting that it took Pippin to act when Denethor purposed to burn Faramir and himself on a pyre. Why? Did it not occur to the servants to whom Denethor gave his orders that being involved in something like that just might be a mistake which could rebound back on them in the future? Or were they either so stupid (or so well-trained) that they did not think to question him?

Each possibility casts light on the way society operates in Gondor, and each one a different light. If the servants are too stupid to realise what is happening, the question which has to be asked is it usual in Gondor to employ servants quite as dimwitted as that? Or is it Denethor's choice? If Pippin can see that Faramir isn't dead, surely others could see it too - lovely as Pippin is, I don't get the impression he is that much brighter than average. Equally, if the servants have been trained to the point where it is impossible for them to question the actions of their employer, what does that say about how Gondor operates?

Question two

In The Hobbit, Elrond sees Thror's map but does not give Thorin and his party any up-to-date information about conditions on the far side of Mirkwood which we discover later in the book has changed since the dragon came. That would argue to me that while Lórien and Rivendell exchange information (and presumably trade) between themselves, information from Mirkwood has been scarce to non-existent.

If Elrond knows the situation at the other side of Mirkwood, why does he not tell the dwarves of it? And if he knows where Thranduil is, and considers it possible that the dwarves may meet him, why does he not furnish them with some sort of letter of introduction?

I am sure there are questions of omission which others can come up with.

And while I'm here... There is a fascinating article by seawasp here about THE SYMMETRY of CORRUPTION:
An Examination of the History of the One Ring subsequent to the "War of the Ring", and the Implications Thereof for the Future of Civilization.

See if your clutter may be someone else's treasure and vice versa! Reduce the amount of stuff you need to throw away by finding like minded fans who may be looking for the very item you are now eyeing with a view to throwing it away.

fan_freecycle operates on a minimum of rules, allowing you to dispose of unwanted items (or indeed obtain items you want) all for free! Well almost free - you may have to find postage.

Worth a look if your house is full of stuff.

Not that mine is. Not at all.*




* Part of that may be a lie.

Tone and Style?

How important is that to you when you read fic? And how important when you write it? Some musings, cut for length, and a poll…

( Read more... )

Um.

Hey, there. *waves*

I'm posting this here because it's my first LOTR fic, and I was a little unsure if it was AU-ish or not. So, I'd really love the concrit. *looks hopeful*

All feedback is welcome, I promise.

Title: Bliss
Ship: Arwen/Aragorn
Word count: 804
Timeline: Post the War of the Ring
Rating: Very G

For the first time in her long, long life, she felt envy.

Could I have all comments/feedback at the entry, if you guys don't mind? Thanks muchly.

Back in the mists of ancient time (August 23rd) I posted about an experiment run by gloriana in which people post creative shorts (any fandom) written in eight minutes. She's now set up a community called flashslash to go on doing it more comfortably. I commend it to you - it's fun and a good way of exercising those writing muscles.

anna_wing calls [here] for proper villains who have a clear sense of their aims in life.

I have changed the layout...let me know what you think. (Remembering that at the moment this is a free account so some options are not available to us.)

If you want a link to your website/LJ where you have your stories posted, please leave a note of of the URL and I'll add them.

Unlike some LotR writers and readers, AU (alternate universe) as a concept doesn't generally bother me. The proviso is that whatever story is being presented has sufficient backstory to make it 'play' - to allow me to suspend disbelief for the duration. It's partly for that reason I really enjoy pieces like Ripper101's MPREG,"The Curse of Elrond" and Draylon's two stories, "Captain of Mordor" and "Nazgul's Prey" whereas I know very many LotR readers and writers will throw up their hands in horror.

Now, I can't say that I didn't have sufficient warning that "The Two Lords of Imladris" by chaotic_binky (NC17) probably was not going to be completely to my taste. Nobody could mistake the meaning of the warning, "Severe angst, slash, marital violence, AU" after all.

Having said that, skimming the piece with one eye covered still gave me the heebies. That Elrond - Elrond - could abuse his partner is so far from the idea I have of the character that I couldn't suspend even a fraction of my disbelief. Not even an itsy bitsy teeny bit, for in "The Hobbit" we're specifically told that Elrond is,"as noble and as fair in face as an elf-lord, as strong as a warrior, as wise as a wizard, as venerable as a king of dwarves and as kind as summer".

It seems to me that whatever your AU - however A your U - that quote needs to be taken into account, and if a writer is going to stray from it she needs to include some reason why this is so - like the story (which I haven't read, sorry crowdaughter) where Elrond is being influenced by the Ring.

It's not enough, it seems to me, to throw out something so contradicted by canon and just call it "AU" as an excuse.

OK, rant over for the moment. Thoughts, comments?

It's not often I go onto adultfanfiction.net and come away feeling I can recommend a story wholeheartedly, but nevertheless I do so now: "Nazgul's Prey" by Draylon. ( Read more... )

gloriana [here] is setting up a writing experiment - inspired by four words you write for 8 minutes, no more, no less and see what transpires. You can either post or not post the result to her journal. It's not too serious, but is designed (I think) to keep the writing muscles in trim. The most recent one is [here]. Read the first post for the rules, and decide beforehand whether you're going for the first or second four words.

I sat in front of my keyboard for quite a while, nervous, wondering how to begin this post... afraid to expose myself to criticism. I can be a damn sensitive fool, who ofttimes takes things way too personally. 'Reason more to get on with it', I told myself. :o) Indeed! It's time. Should I ever wish to evolve as a writer, this is what I need to do; a definite pivotal step towards literary growth.

See this post on fanficrants about levels of truth in fandom. It says more succinctly that I have ever managed what is 'canon' and what isn't.

As most people seem to dislike it, I have turned off the navbar. Let me know if it reappears.

I refer all participants in this group, but most particularly the person who posted the anonymous comment on the last thread, to the post which originally gave rise to it and which can be found here.

Please read and inwardly digest, but for those whose fingers are too tired to click, it reads in part, The whole attitude of 'well it may only be a scribble on a sheet of paper, but let's all praise it as if it's James Joyce' which pervades the fandom - not just that group, I've come across it elsewhere - makes me foam at the mouth. I find it even more annoying than Grelvish or Mary Sue, because (IMO) it indicates a complete unwillingness to face up to even the lightest responsibility of anyone who writes fiction and publishes it. If that is your attitude, keep your writing to show your sister or close personal friends but don't publish it anywhere - putting it on the internet counts as publishing. Yes, even on your own website. Yes, even with a password.

Publishing, even on the Pit of Voles means that there's a chance you might be told your writing sucks. Everyone hears that from time to time, and no it's not nice. But it's the chance you take and you'll not avoid it by pretending to be the sensitive artist with TB, labouring away in a garrett, whose work has the dewy insubstantialness of a rose on a June morning. You're not, it hasn't, and very probably neither has theirs.